Pleasantly Suprised

I survived. Much better than I thought. I was dreading presents. I was pleasantly suprised. Both the in-laws and my side followed through with our request-gift cards to Menards for basement completion.

Last year we kinda got the shaft. We got bikes from my parents, which is cool and what-not, but pretty sure they've been ridden like 2 times. I suppose it'll be nice when we have kiddos in like 25 years and they wanna ride on the back. From his mom and her husband we got....A pig. Really, a pig. They butchered a pig for us. We got 200+ lbs of pork. I'm not a big pork fan. I like sausage links/patties for breakfast and pork loin. That's it. I detest pork chops. A year later I still have TONS of pork. Plus we had to pay for the processing. That was more expensive than the pig. So not what I wanted or expected.

So when I get what I asked for, you get a happy gal!

I'm "late" and have no idea when I will be un-late. I won't take a test. It's a waste of time, money and always a huge let-down, no matter how much I tell myself to not get my hopes up. At least another week, before test-taking is even a remote idea.

Off to be domestic, I'm going to try and make cake balls. Ever done it? Me either. Wish me luck.

Christmas Dread....No, Christmas Hope

I never, in a million years, thought that I would say that I've been dreading Christmas. Not the actual season. I've relished the parts of Christmas. Christmas music, baking, shopping and wrapping presents, deciding who to trick with gifts.

All of those things are helping me to escape the dread that has come with this year.

Thanksgiving with my family was horrible. I never in a million years thought that I would have more fun with my in-laws than my own family. NEVER! But, I did.

Now, tonight and Saturday I have to spend with my family. I have to pretend like everything is ok. I have to pretend that I want to be there. I have to pretend that it doesn't bother me that my brother's gf is pregnant. I'm praying she isn't showing yet. I have to pretend that my feelings haven't been hurt by my mom over and over these past couple months.

I'll pretend and get through tonight, so I can celebrate at Candlelight worship. So I can open gifts with my husband and my dog tomorrow morning, so I can laugh with my in-laws tomorrow, so I can get great Christmas decorations at great prices on Friday, so I can enjoy Christmas!

Because if I can't enjoy it, I will be sad and I will cry and I don't want to cry.

I want to laugh, smile, pray, sing, celebrate!

So I will!

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Blessings on your family as you celebrate the birth of Jesus!

Love,
Becky (and Nick and Sadie too!)

I've decided I maybe need a fun and cute new name for my blog. I'm not a mom yet, so all those cute names are out, plus you've taken them all. I'm a teacher, but that doesn't define my whole life, neither does wife or sister or friend or blogger. All of those parts make up my whole.

Do you have any ideas? Any creative jucies out there that you can pass along to me?

Me in a Nutshell-
love pink,
like to read,
love friends,
dog and hubby,
fertility struggling
country girl
Kindergarten teacher
Husker fan

If you can come up with any creative names...that haven't been taken, Write me a comment, and if I pick yours, you'll win a fantabulous prize....$$ to Target and a few other small suprises!

I will also have a prize for the runner-ups. You will get an entry for
1. Giving me a new blog name.
2. Posting about this on your blog and commenting that you did.
3. Follow me and commenting that you did.

So you have 3 chances to win and the possibility of having credit for coming up with my blog name.The contest will end on December 29th at Midnight, just in time for me to reveal the new blog name for the new year.

Almost

My hubby helps out a lot. He's so good at helping with laundry, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, making something for me, fixing anything, putting something up for me. With all these things though.....He has one major, but minor flaw.

He can't finish a task. The laundry-can collect it, sort it, start it, switch and start a new load, but leaves the load in the dryer for days, until I get it out to fold it and he puts it away. The trash- gathers it all from the rooms, takes it out, puts it in the garbage, but can't for the life of him, put a new liner in the cans. He will leave the drill on the table for weeks after he does something for me.

There are so many more examples. I'm constantly picking up and putting away after him. Some days I want to scream, some days I'm so grateful that I have him to pick up after. All days, I pray that he won't be the only one I'm picking up after and will be so grateful when I have another one to pick up after.

An Open Letter

Dear Kindergartners,

I know you're excited for the holidays. I get it. I remember being 5. Going to see Santa at the mall, writing him a letter, making him cookies, secretly shopping and making presents, going out at night to look at the pretty lights, listening to Christmas music, decorating the tree. It's all exciting. Heck, it's even exciting for me 20+years later.

But come on, I need some quiet. I need a break. I have you for 32 more hours this week. There is still a lot to do. I've got requirements that I need to meet. I still have to teach with all the excitement.

So, lets make a deal. You behave for the next 4 days. You listen when I'm talking, quit yelling across the room, and quit singing the same dang line from the same dang song 50 times and I will promise you we'll have fun! We'll watch some Christmas movies, make some Christmas crafts, have some Christmas treats, open some Christmas presents even! But you gotta give me a little bit of peace. I don't think I've got enough Aleve or Diet Coke to make it through the week if we don't have a little peace and quiet.

Thanks for your consideration on this matter.
Sincerely your teacher,
Mrs. Dittmer

I hate the flu and all that goes with it. BLECH! I stayed home from school today and will stay home again tomorrow. NO FUN! I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I'll feel better and can maybe do a few things besides lay on the couch all day, drifting in and out of sleep.

How to Cook Your Thanksgiving Turkey....

according to my Kindergartners! Happy Reading!

Lucas: Make the turkey round, carve it, and put in into the over for 15 hours. Then take it out and eat it.

Jacque: You put something in the turkey and then you put it in the oven for 10 minutes. Then you put the turkey on a plate and put it on the table.

Joseph: We cook them in pan on the stove for 4 minutes. Then we eat it with peas.

Malik: Put it in the oven for 16 minutes, then take it out and cool off. Then we eat the turkey with mashed potatoes.

Haley: Cook it in the oven for 5 hours, and then eat it with potatoes.

Alle: You make it with sugar first and then milk. You cook it on the stove for 30 hours and then you take it out and eat it with green beans, macaroni, ice cream and cake.

Justin: You put it in the oven for a long time.

Kassandra: You bake it for 5 minutes then you put legs on it. Then you put some brown stuff on it. You bake it for 6 more minutes then you eat it all gone.

Isaac: Bake it for 20 seconds then eat it with stuffing, green beans and a roll.

Izzy: Cook it for 10 or 11 hours. Then you serve it on a plate. Eat it with corn and milk.

If I Can't,I Can...

After feeling so sorry for myself I was browsing around blogs. I came across an intriguing button so I cliked on it and I found a truly God-inspired blog. To sum up the post and the idea that she didn't care about some things as much as she cared about other things for her children. She said in summary that one of the most important things she was privileged to do as a mother is to pray for her children every day.

She came across a verse that God used to prompt her to pray for her daughters 7 times a day for 7 days. It struck her that she needed reminders during the day to be praying over her girls, and she decided to choose 7 events in a day that would remind her to do so. Then, she chose verses that had to do with that time of the day (for example: as her kids are getting dressed in the morning) and then she put them on notecards.

Here are the events and verses she chose:
1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)
2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)
3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)
4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)
5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)
6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)

I feel like God has been reminding me more and more lately that I need to live my life in prayer. For my children, husband, family, friends, country, those in need, etc., etc. As a mother, it has been so pivotal for my children to hear me praying out loud over them, and I want to commit to do this every day (seven times a day!) for the next week. If you care to join me, just copy these verses onto index cards. Have a great (and prayer-filled!) week. And may God bless you and your babies richly.

I was moved by this. I figured that I could do this. I could pray over my future children in regards to my current situation. I've picked out 7 verses and wrote prayers in regard to them. I will start on Thanksgiving Day and go for a week.

The other thing I was blessed with was Melissa's blog. She has endured many a trial and triumphed out of the foxhole with a beautiful son, Rocco. Her journey is here. If you've ever been through the fire, you will be touched by her story as I am and be truly grateful for all the things that God has blessed you with, no matter how small.

They CAN, but I CAN'T

Disclaimer: I've been working on this post for two months. So it's a little outdated in spots but the feelings are still the same.

I haven't posted on this yet and I'm not quite sure I'm ready to yet. I struggle with how to phrase this. It hasn't been medically declared and I'm not ready for it to get that far. I want to fix it on it's own, but I'm not quite sure that will happen.

I have had a fear, irrational or not, that I will not be able to have my own children. During high school/college I had several close calls and never got pregnant.

Mr. Corn and I have been off bc for a year officially now. We've actively been trying since January to get pregnant. No luck yet.I made a big mistake and researched on the internet. I know WAY too much now. I don't want to know some of these things. I don't need to know.

I went to the doctor last week (October 2nd). We're taking steps forward to do some testing on Nick and I. This is a new doctor and the first male doctor I've ever seen. Way outta my comfort zone. I really trust him though and I like him. We'll see what happens.

Got our test results. All ok. Thyroid is normal, glucose good, prolactin good. Which is positive news. Nick is good too. "Atta boy" the dr. said. :)

(This is where I left off mid October. The rest is my feelings of the past month.)

This isn't fair. I did things right, or at least semi-right. I got married, had a steady job, a house that was kid appropriate and I can't get pregnant, BUT....

-my brother who has a 13 month old w/ his live in girlfriend, both on welfare and know they're pregnant just by her boobs hurting before she even misses her f'in period...CAN get pregnant

-my cousin in college can get married in December and will have a baby in May...do the math folks...CAN get pregnant.

-a friend who swore she would never have children, decides on a whim that she might want one...CAN get pregnant.

-a friend who wants to enjoy being married for five years before having kids after less than five months...CAN get pregnant.

- a MAN with female reproductive parts can get inseminated at home and get pregnant 3 months after having a baby this same exact way CAN get pregnant.

But me, I have been so good, taking care of myself. Taking my pills, not drinking, eating healthy, etc and I CAN'T get pregnant. I'm so frustrated by all of this.

Yes, it's all happened this past month. I went back to the doctor at the end of last month for an annual and to discuss my options. I'm now on a drug to help with ovulation. It's supposed to make me regular within a month. I'm not sure sit's working. Its got nasty side effects. Not as bad as Clomid, but I'm not sure how long I can handle them. I've got to give it 3 months to declare it not working before going further.

We've taken a baby making break this month. It was a hard decision to make, but one that needed to be made. But I've got hope and things to be grateful for during this time of thanksgiving. I'll post about that tomorrow.

Been A While

I know, I know it's been a while. I haven't had the blogging muse in over 2 weeks. It's not back yet, but I thought I better check-in. I'm dealing with some things internally that I'm not quite ready to deal with publicly. I am reading everyone and am checking in at SITS most days, but I needed a break. My goal is this weekend, when I have some much deserved and much needed time to myself. Until then, if you could just pray that I would have peace over several things going on, I'd really appreciate it.

Turning to God

I won't say who I did or didn't vote for, there were issues that I struggled with on both sides and it was a decision that I struggled with all the way to the polling booth. I heard arguments from both sides throughout my family. I have farmers and welfare recipients in my family. Gun advocates and gun opponents. Teachers and corporates. War veterans and peace makers. Christians and atheists. Pro-choice and pro-life. Two extremes on so many of the issues.

My heart aches for our country. Not because someone won and someone else lost. Because I truly believe that this election will divide this country like we've never seen before.

So tonight I turn to God, I remember that he will reign supreme. I turn to Deuteronomy 10:17 which says "For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes." I turn to Joshua 5:13-14 "When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?” “Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Lord’s army.”

And I pray, I get down on my kness and pray that God will unite and not divide this country. That he will protect us from evil and will guide President Obama, VP Biden and the 535 members of the US House and Senate.

Mama Kat gave some good prompts this week. I thought long and hard. I decided to do #1. Write from the point of view of a glass at the edge of the table.

"Oh, she is so rude. She just grabs me off the shlef, hitting me in places where I don't need to be hit. If I get chipped, I'm gonna cut her lip. She hits the ice dispenser so hard. It's going to come out, why so rough. She's on refill #2, must have been thirsty. There she goes to her "spot". On the couch, with the TV on. Me on the table. At least she has the decency to put me on a coaster. Doesn't want me to leave a water mark for her to clean up later. She's so lazy, but I admire her smart thinking. She wants me again, only for a drink but still she wants me. She can't even move her body to take a drink. She can't turn away from the computer. She just pauses typing and reaches her short little arm behind her to get a drink, she misses her grasp on the cup, I topple, I hear her cuss, is she gonna drop me yet again?"

This is a true story. It happens almost every day at 4:15 when I get home from school. GO join Mama Kat for her weekly writing assignment.

Carving Pumpkins

We carved pumpkins this weekend with our friends. Here is my picture story. Enjoy! This is Nick working hard to cut the top of his pumpkin. Now Harvey takes the easy way out.

Using the saw. He got 3 done to Nick's one.

Here's Nick and I working hard to design and carving our pumpkins.


And here is our final projects all lit up. This is Nick's spider and my goofy guy.

Here is Harvey's Case-IH symbol and baby Lane's pumpkin.

Go join Angie for Wordful Wednesday and SITS for their Halloween Parade.

A Walking We Will Go

We went on a walk last weekend. It was beautiful day out. There was a slight crispness to the air, sunny and no breeze. We wanted to "explore" so there is a park with trails, hills, and creeks that aren't paved. We headed there. I had my camera out at the beginning, but didn't take a lot of pictures. Nick gets disgusted with me. Here's him walking ahead of me.

We started on a trail that looked pretty intense. Hills, bumps, crossed over a little creek. Jumping over rocks. Went back up the hill and discovered this sign.

After a short discussion on the pros and cons of continuing on this trail or the one to the left that said no hikers and no bikes we decided to keep going. Until we saw another one. We then decided to head back and find a "hiker trail."

We did and were having fun. There was a stream to the left of us that was really calm and then we went around a corner and saw this

it was gorgeous. It was a really good time. We're just bummed that we didn't find it earlier in the fall season. If it ends up being pretty nice this weekend we might go try another trail.

Grand Plans

I have this week off. I've had grand plans for this week for a month. Stick to a routine, keep cleaning, cooking, doing school stuff, a little more blogging, a little more reading. A couple appointments, a haircut, massage. But mainly "me time!"

Day 1 has been successful. I stayed in my jammies all day. I did comb my hair out and brush me teeth-carpet fixit guy came.

I made pumpkin cake, strawberry pretzel jello, getting ready to make chicken parmesean for dinner.

I read a book. Yes, I said an entire book. I zone when I read. I think this is the main reason I haven't read the Twilight series. I would neglect EVERYTHING!

I uploaded pictures for several posts to do later this week.

Check Day 3 off my list. 6 more days to go! I love these weeks!

I got Tagged

I got tagged last Sunday. I was thinking that I would do it when I could get onto my main computer. I'm supposed to go to my sixth picture folder and get my sixth picture. I'm thinking to myself, the desktop has all the pictures. Not so much. It has one folder. There are 12 pictures in it. So here's the sixth picture from that folder. . This is Nick and I on our last day of our honeymoon. We are posing with our "fun guy Mario". Mario met us when we got off the bus from the airport and helped us check-in, gave us a tour of the resort, clued us in to everything and was just an all around amazing guy! Funny and honest. His wife and children lived like 3 hours a way and he only got to see them like once a month. It made it painfully real to me how hard some people worked for their families.

On a side note. Look how skinny I am and look how long my hair is. I need to pretend I'm getting married again, maybe that would motivate me to lose weight and grow my hair back.

Lazy Days

Today was beautiful.

Woke up to a cuddling husband. Showered. Didn't put make up on or do my hair. Threw on jeans and a sweatshirt. Went to a craft fair with my mom. (She apologized, I accepted. I moved on.)

Came home, pulled up a quilt, ate candy corn, watched football and Lifetime movies-a great combination. Played on the laptop, entered almost all my grades for 1st quarter.

Took a cat nap. Got motivated to pick up the house, do a load of laundry that's still in the washer/dryer.

Made dinner. Left the dishes in the sink.

Watched more football. Ate the rest of the candy corn.

Watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall-extremely dirty, but funny. My favorite line was "If God was a city planner he wouldn't build a park next to a sewage system." Just get your mind in the gutter and you'll get it.

Watched more football. Heading to bed to cuddle with the husband.

This was the Saturday I needed.

SISTA LOVE

SITS is having a blogfest today. While I'm somewhat of blog-stalker I have several gals that I read on a daily basis and I've found them through SITS. I'll link to them at the end of the post, but to win a prize I've got to post and then comment on SITS. So while I've never done this, there is no day like today to start.

When Tiffany and Heather first started SITS I found them through my friend Mrs. S. I would read occasional posts and when they had a feature blogger that intrigued me I'd read their posts and comment on one every once in a while. The Sista's are amazing. They are so encouraging, leaving comments and returning visits if you visit them, while I don't proclaim to be a writer, because I'm not and my posts aren't thrilling and adventurous, the Sista's are almost always a gurantee to put a smile on my face. I've gotten some great crackliture recommendations from them. And I always leave their blog with a smile.

So today the prizes I REALLY want, now all are great, but the ones I REALLY want are the Photofiddle canvas print, the spooky banner and the $50 gift card to Tiffany's shop.

Here are my Top 5 blogs I found through SITS; in no particular order.

1. Mama's Losin It-photoshopping skills, crazy sense of humor, daycare diaries....love it all!

2. Insane Mama- I don't know how she does it, but she does and it's beautiful.

3. Heather- SITS founder and funny gal

4. Mrs. R- My Crackliture hero

5. Stretch Marks- heartbreakingly honest and amazingly funny

Oh what a day! We held a surpise retirement party at my home for my grandma this afternoon. It took weeks of preparation and lying to her and two days of cleaning my house. Well the party was a huge sucsess and went off without a hitch. She was moved to tears. ( I don't have any pictures my mom had a friend of hers take all the pictures.)





I was good until about 2:30. My brother and his girlfriend, who have a 13 month old decided to announce today of all days that Chelsea is pregnant again. I watched my mom almost scream and jump up and down in excitement while they were surrounded by relatives and family friends. I quickly feigned a happy congratulations. And ran. I hid in the bathroom in the dark and just cried. Then I had to clean myself up and fake it for the rest of the day.



I'm so hurt by mom. She knows that we are officially dealing with infertility. She knows how worried I am, she obviously doesn't know how hurt I am today. I was kind of rude to her and shrugged her off the rest of the afternoon, but if I wouldn't, I just would have lost it.



I am the oldest, I should have been the first to get married. (which I was) And then the first to give them a grand child. (which I wasn't.) Who knows if they will ever get a grandchild from Nick and me. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this for the next 9 months and I just don't know if I can handle it.



God bless, Nick, he's trying so hard to understand, but he just doesn't get why I'm so hurt and upset.

Tomorrow is a new day and maybe tomorrow the hurt won't be so severe and I can not think about it so much.

'Fraid So

So some weeks I feel no inspiration for Mama Kat's writing assignment and other weeks I can write about 3 or 4 of them. The list ones are the easiest ones for me. I love lists. So...

10 things that I'm afraid of. In no particular order.

#1-Amusement rides. I despise them. I don't know if it's the speed, the height, the feeling of losing control. I hate them.

#2-Needles. This is valid. It's not just I don't like them b/c it hurts. When I was 7 I had an unexplained fever. I had 3 spinal taps in 6 days. Blood draws every 4 hours for 6 days, 1 a day for like 2 weeks and then 1 a week for 6 weeks. It was not easy. I was scarred. Then when I was 12 I had stitches and my dr was a dick head and didn't give my anthestic nicely.

#3-Losing my husband to an early death. He travels so much and is around so much huge machinery. I just have awful visions of getting a phone call or a visit.

#4-Not being able to have a child. This one is self explanatory. I don't have the energy to explain this now.

#5-Creepy crawlies. We live in the "country" and they are all over. UGH!

#6-Not teaching my students effectively. I always wonder if I'm really doing this right and the kids are really learning.

#7-That blogging is an addiction. What happened to faithful TV watching, reading books, doing school stuff.

#8-Not pleasing people. I'm a people pleaser. I say YES to much, it's so hard for me to please myself over somebody else, especially family or friends.

#9-Losing some friendships. After 16 months of marriage, I'm realizing that while I've gained so much; there are some things that I've lost and I will continue to lose and I've finally started to say goodbye. Yet there are some friendships that I can't say goodbye to ever and truly hope that I never have to.

#10-I can't think of anything. I guess I'm only afraid of 9 things.

Quotes from Kindergarten

As I sat down in my comfy fish director chair it squeaked.

My student Dizzy asks?

"Is your bottom to big for that chair? Because it makes noise when you sit down."

Thank you, guess I won't be having ice cream after dinner tonight.

Countdown time

I'm stressed. Hiding it well though, cuz even I don't think I look stressed.

In 4 days I get blood work done. I don't like needles, at all.

In 7 days I'm hosting a party at my home for 60+ strangers.

In 9 days I have conferences.

In 11 days I have more conferences.

In 17 days report cards must be done.

In 17 days I have off school for one whole week.

In 23 days I find out the results of the blood work.

There's more. I just can't remember...or maybe choose not to remember.

Not Me Monday

Couldn't have been Me...

I couldn't possibly have spent $6.00 on a beer last week. No, not me. It's a good thing I didn't have to sleep off the hangover that I didn't get since I didn't spend $6 on a beer.

I couldn't have possibly slept until 9:00 on a Friday.

I couldn't possibly rooted against my beloved Huskers just so I could win the office football pool.

I couldn't have possibly got the wrong number and not win the office pool.

Clean House and Fall Decorating

OOOOh, I love a clean house! I also love fall decorations! I did the pumpkins that Mrs. R had posted a week ago. They were a ton of fun! I'd post photos now, but I have to go to the grocery store so I can get grub for tonight for the game. GO BIG RED! PS- My goal is to have 10 posts this month. I think I'm up to 8 after this one. 2 more by Tuesday. I can do it!

Taking Tomorrow Off?

I actually am taking tomorrow off, my plan is to sleep off my hangover, then watch Grey's Anatomy and CSI from Thursday night. Vacuum, sweep and mop my floors, clean my bathrooms. And take my mom out to lunch for her birthday. Not too exciting. I don't however have to work and I get to sleep in...but its not the same. I've been planning this. If I found out that I could take tomorrow off unexpectedly, then I would...

If I could take tomorrow off I'd sleep in. I would read an entire book. I'd watch a movie that required a blanket, a strawberry daiquiri, a bowl of popcorn and a half gallon of ice cream. I'd go window shopping. I'd drive to Omaha and see some friends that I really miss.

----OR----


I'd make my husband take the day off too. Turn off both our phones. Stay in bed all day , close the curtains, walk around naked all day, feed each other comfort food and just love on him!

Ten Things I believe

I believe....



that a trip through Target can cure almost any problem

that you can't go to Target without purchasing something. Even if your purchase wasn't what you went to buy.

in God and in his providance for me and my family.


in singing in the car when a song comes on that you truly love.

that my husband is the most perfect man for me.


cradling a baby and their soft skin can calm me.


that eventually a child will call for me in the middle of the night and I gladly get up and care for their needs.


that teaching Kindergarten is truly my dream a job.

that a carton of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream can solve many problems!

eventually I will blog on a daily basis.

Ro-Day-O

I'm so stinking excited!!!! Mr. Corn said yes to going to the rodeo and seeing Rodney Atkins! I have been trying to win tickets for the past 2 weeks. It didn't happen, but tonight he said that he would rather go to the concert and then watch football at home instead of going to a football game.

Now don't get me wrong...I love me some Husker football, but it is so much cheaper to stay at home and watch it on TV and be comfy and warm. But Rodney Atkins...I LOVE his music! and the rodeo...I haven't seen a professional rodeo in forever and even then it wasn't like this is gonna be!

Then since we're going to get home so late I'm getting a substitute teacher for Kindergarten. I will sleep in and then spend the day at home cleaning/ doing some catch-up at home. It'll be LOVELY! I'm so excited! Is it Thursday yet?

They Can, but I Can't

Disclaimer: I've been working on this post for two months. So it's a little outdated in spots but the feelings are still the same.

I haven't posted on this yet and I'm not quite sure I'm ready to yet. I struggle with how to phrase this. It hasn't been medically declared and I'm not ready for it to get that far. I want to fix it on it's own, but I'm not quite sure that will happen.

I have had a fear, irrational or not, that I will not be able to have my own children. During high school/college I had several close calls and never got pregnant.

Mr. Corn and I have been off bc for a year officially now. We've actively been trying since January to get pregnant. No luck yet.

I made a big mistake and researched on the internet. I know WAY too much now. I don't want to know some of these things. I don't need to know.

I went to the doctor last week (October 2nd). We're taking steps forward to do some testing on Nick and I. This is a new doctor and the first male doctor I've ever seen. Way outta my comfort zone. I really trust him though and I like him. We'll see what happens.

Got our test results. All ok. Thyroid is normal, glucose good, prolactin good. Which is positive news. Nick is good too. "Atta boy" the dr. said. :)

(This is where I left off mid October. The rest is my feelings of the past month.)

This isn't fair. I did things right, or at least semi-right. I got married, had a steady job, a house that was kid appropriate and I can't get pregnant, BUT....

-my brother who has a 13 month old w/ his live in girlfriend, both on welfare and know they're pregnant just by her boobs hurting before she even misses her f'in period...CAN get pregnant

-my cousin in college can get married in December and will have a baby in May...do the math folks...CAN get pregnant.

-a friend who swore she would never have children, decides on a whim that she might want one...CAN get pregnant.

-a friend who wants to enjoy being married for five years before having kids after less than five months...CAN get pregnant.

- a MAN with female reproductive parts can get inseminated at home and get pregnant 3 months after having a baby this same exact way CAN get pregnant.

But me, I have been so good, taking care of myself. Taking my pills, not drinking, eating healthy, etc and I CAN'T get pregnant. I'm so frustrated by all of this.

Yes, it's all happened this past month. I went back to the doctor at the end of last month for an annual and to discuss my options. I'm now on a drug to help with ovulation. It's supposed to make me regular within a month. I'm not sure sit's working. Its got nasty side effects. Not as bad as Clomid, but I'm not sure how long I can handle them. I've got to give it 3 months to declare it not working before going further.

We've taken a baby making break this month. It was a hard decision to make, but one that needed to be made. But I've got hope and things to be grateful for during this time of thanksgiving. I'll post about that tomorrow.

Stay at Home Week

It's National Stay-at-Home week, in honor of Fall Previews. Lemme tell you...I'll be participating in that. I went through the next 8 days on my DVR. Every show is ready to record. I'll be watching them all! Well not all, but all my Old ones and all the new ones that I wanna see.

I'm especially excited for Grey's, Housewives, CSI: Miami and CSI, Two and a Half Men, Brothers and Sisters, Private Practice and so many more. I'll admit I'm addicted to TV, but hey after a stupid writers strike and 6 months of reality TV I'm excited for some spice in my TV life.

Expect my blogging life to be a little shady. I started reading again this week and unlike Mama Kat I refuse to stay up later to blog, watch TV or read. I just shorten one and the next few weeks its going to be blogging.

Crabby no more

I'm not crabby anymore. Thank goodness. Mr. Corn was not really digging the crabby wife.

We had a good weekend. My nephew turned 1 and we celebrated that. I got my baby fix with my friend's wee one. I'm getting over my cold/allergies. The sun is out and it's beautiful today! I'm going to see my friends Friday night and the AppleJack festival is this weekend. All good. I'll do the writing prompt tomorrow. I slacked last week. Mr. Corn was outta town and left me with dial-up internet.

Mrs. Crabby Pants

I'm crabby.

It could be the fact that I haven't seen the sun in 6 days, and no I don't live in Hurricane Central.

It could be the fact that I haven't spent an hour with my husband since Monday.

It could be the fact that I have allergies and can't breathe.

It could be the fact that I have horrible cramps and none of my pants fit because I'm so bloated.

It could be any of those...

In fact, it's probably all of those. Thank God it's Friday! Only 8 more hours til I can relax.

But oh, wait. We're going to my in-laws tonight.

Smarty Pants

Dear Becky,

Well, your ten today. Chill out, I know it's Friday the 13th, but worst things could happen. And some of them will.

You're a smarty pants right now. You know everything and you know it. You don't work hard at school. It's gonna bite you next year. And the year after that and it will continue until you become a mediocre student.

The boys call you mom, I know you hate it. I know it makes you cry. In 15 years they will be proud of their "mom" and will look up to you for advice.

Those books are a favorite of yours, but I'm telling you...you need to get outside. Make some more friends. Or you'll end up on Friday night laying on your bed reading a book.

The first love will not be the only one or the last. Keep your head up and don't think any of them can make you happier. They can't, they won't, in fact they'll make you crazy! (Literally.)

Love your much wiser older 26 year old self,
Becky

I wish I could

So Mama Kat gave a writing assignment, and I jumped! I've been busy, I mean REALLY busy, I've succumbed back into slinking around reading blogs, not posting. But trust me, it's not just you. It's my email, my facebook, my laundry and my dishes, my husband, my dog, its everything! I'm so mentally and physically exhausted, it's everything I can do to drive home and change my clothes and veg on the couch; let alone try to write a blog. Plus I really don't like those whiny people...and I'd turn into that on the blog, if I wrote about it everyday.

So, without further ado...here goes Writing Prompt #1
I wish I could.....


Sing, really sing...not just singing in the shower or car or with Kindergartners who don't care

Be more self disciplined....this would accomplish a variety of I wishes

Function better on less sleep-Less than 7 hours and I'm toast

Be organized...I try, I say I am, but really I'm not and it drives me NUTS!

Devote more time to people without feeling like I'm shortchanging Mr. Corn

Scrapbook, I really want to but I just don't, can't, won't...

Not worry about money and do things that would make my heart happy

That's enough....I like this MamaKat. This will be happening more!

Slacker? Yes, but I have valid excuses!

Please, please forgive me.

I'm sure you're all thinking SLACKER, and you're right I am. At least blogging, but let me tell you these past few weeks have been a WHIRLWIND! Getting ready for school is been amazing, but very overwhelming! I've also been regulated to a slow desktop and that doesn't make posting or commenting or even reading blogs very easy. So...in a quick update...

1. Sunburn is gone! Took forever!
2. I'm so stinking excited for Kindergarten!
3. Kari's wedding was beautiful-I have several posts on that...but in my head and no time to type them.
4. My room is unpacked at school!
5. Nick got a new job! And I am so amazingly blessed by him, it ain't funny. -Several Posts on this as well. See#3 for reason why.
6. Christmas in August-A-Freaking-Mazing! Again see 3 and 5
7. School starts a week from today! (AHHHHH!)

Well there's what's been happening in the past 3 weeks. My goal is by Labor Day to have a nice school/home schedule...stay tuned for regular updates!

PS-Still reading all of you, but slow computer is really no fun. This is honestly the longest I've been on the computer in like 2 weeks!

Burnt to a Crisp

Made it back last night. Oh tubing was so much fun! Lay on a tube and float down the river, not a care in the world. No cell phone, no watch, just fun people, the sun, the water and ice cold drinks. Pictures will take a while. I only used a waterproof camera and it isn't quite filled up yet. I am however VERY sunburnt in some uncomfortable places. My upper back and the back of my thighs. Thank Goodness for aloe vera gel. However, I'm not sleeping well. I may need a nap today.

Well this is unofficially my last day of vacation before school craziness starts. I could bore you with everything that I have to do, but I won't, because that's boring. Just know that it's going to get crazy!

I need to get a lot done today, both for school and for home. Hey, I thought I was on vacation. At least Mr. Corn is home, that will be a fun day.

Tubing

Just got back, laundry done, unpacked and we're off again. This time will be much more fun. We're going tubing down the Niobrara. (A river in North Nebraska.) We get to lay on tube and float down the river and drink beer. HOW FUN! I hope I don't come back fried like a lobster! See you on Sunday!

PS-Laura, I know you tagged me. I'll do it Sunday. PPS-Make sure I can come to you're going away party! I'm shooting for August 16th. That sounds like a good day to me!

Traveling with Mr. Corn

I’m writing this traveling down the interstate. It won’t be published until probably tomorrow afternoon. We just finished the week at business meeting for Mr. Corn. We were in Springfield, Illinois. The men had meetings and the ladies got to tour different places. Do you know what you tour in Springfield, Illinois? Abraham Lincoln. I know so much more about him than I ever would need to. I saw his home in Springfield, his law office, his tomb, his library, an entire museum dedicated to him, the old state capital where he worked. I saw it all. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy history and learning about different things, but I’m a little Abe’d out.
We stayed downtown and we did walk most places so we got to stop in all these cute little shops. There were two shops that had different local artists. I bought some really neat jewelry, a ID lanyard and these cute wire flowers with buttons for flowers, and button magnets and button pushpins. I’m going to get creative and make some of those. Maybe I’ll have a contest and give some away. Today I also went to a teacher store. I was like a 4 year old in a candy store. Ooh, I went crazy! I got new calendar die-cuts, a couple resource books, stickers, a poster. I can’t wait. Mr. Corn won’t be thrilled when he sees the monthly bill. Oh well. So now we’re on our way home.
We drove through a town that had a cemetery right next to the road with no fence around it and you should have heard the conversation that ensued.
Me: How’d you like to be buried there?
Mr. Corn: Well your back would sure hurt.
Me: Not saying anything, just looking at him puzzled.
Mr. Corn: There went another semi; I hate how much they make the road shake.”
Mr. Corn: “I’d like to be the one that closed the road because they were buried on the edge.”
(They literally had a headstone 2 foot from the side of the road.)
Me: Laughing….and then Mr. Corn just kept going. I should have been writing them all down as he was saying it. It was sure funny.
We’re going through Iowa right now. It’s pretty boring and flat. Not a lot of excitement. Thank God I can type on the computer. Keeping myself entertained, especially since Mr. Corn is on the phone.
I was also watching all the signs. I saw always wonder where they come up with the names. My favorite was Lick Creek. I just laughed out loud and then imagined the dirty, funny things that you could come up with if you lived near there.
I am anxiously waiting for us to stop somewhere that has Wi-Fi that I can steal and connect to. After a day of commenting, I’m missing reading the blogs and commenting. Oh, I’m so addicted now! What have you done to me, blogging world?

My New Promise

I have been blogging for a while. 6 months, actually. Although I'm definitely more of a stalker-blogger. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to read about people's lives. You all make me laugh on a daily basis. I awaited in trepidation for someone to post a new blog...I have not been a good blogger.

I don't blog often. I don't have kids. My husband vetoed blogging about him. My life is pretty boring. Who wants to read what I did all week. Not, me...

Well, I'm turning over a new leaf! I got creative on scrapblog thanks to Tressa. I finally slowly read Mama Kat's Idiot's Guide to Blogging so I could link and do my feed so I don't have to go over to my dear friend Randi every time I want to read what you crazy girls are doing.

So now my challenge to myself is to comment on all of your exciting adventures.

And get creative and come up with some good posts! It'll happen. I will do it.

Then maybe I can finally get the guts to go over to SITS and comment and maybe one day I'll get to be that darned feature blogger.

Or maybe I'll continue to be that crazy stalker blogger who has more fun reading than posting....we shall see.

Exhausted Yet Happy

Oh, what a weekend!

It all started Friday. I agreed to host a baby shower for my dear friend. It was slightly last minute, but we pulled it together and it went off beautifully! The food was amazing and the company lovely.

Saturday was "All about Kari!" She is getting married in 3 weeks. We had her bridal shower Sat morning with brunch. Her bachelorette party last night. The food wasn't as good (b/c we didn't make it!) but we had lots of fun! We decorated tea towels, watched Kari stuff her face with Marshmallows and open presents. After a short break at home we started the fun...We met at a hotel, had some appetizers and opened gifts. We then went to a vineyard and started the night there. Moved on to a small-town bar and then downtown. What a fun night! We also celebrated my birthday.

After getting home at 2 am, slept in until the last possible minute. Went to brunch with my family, went to my parents house to open presents. Nick got me a massage! I can't wait to go use it! The rest of the money, I'll spend either on clothes or more school items. I haven't decided. We rented Fool's Gold and had DQ Ice Cream Cake(MY FAV!), tonight we came home and chilled. Watched a good dose of reality TV, gotta love it.

Here's to a good Monday!

We had a good weekend....til now.

Long Day

After a short night---3-4 hours of sleep, due to unexplainable reasons, a long day including a trip to Henry Doorly Zoo and swimming for 2 hours with a toddler, I'm going to have a glass of wine, a bubble bath, and hit the pillows. Hopefully without a repeat of last night!

Good News All Around

He's home...I'm happy!!!! I got a fabulous nights sleep!

I leave tonight to go watch my favorite kiddos for a couple days! I'm excited!

My baby gets baptized on Sunday. I'm going to be his godmother! Thrilled about that! I adore that little one!!!

We're having company 2 days in a row next week! WOOT! Yay for old friends that I miss!

Ooh and the best news of all....I get to stay at my school and teach Kindergarten!!!! I've been waiting for this for 4 years. I can't wait!!!

Home Sweet Home

We made it home last night about 10:00. It was so sweet to just be home and in my own bed! I started laundry/cleaning today. Hopefully it won't take all day! Here are a couple pictures. I have more on my facebook page!

This is after a long day in Chicago, in the rain and humidity...celebrating our 1 year anniversary at our hotel room in El Paso. It was 9 before we had dinner...we had wine and Dairy Queen Chicken Strips, but they forgot to give us ketchup and ranch...so Nick went across the street to Dollar General and picked some up for us.

Chicago and Anniversary

We had a fabulous time in Chicago. I don't have my USB to upload photos...so you'll have to wait until I get home. We did everything I wanted Nick to see. He's always skeptical about trips...never did sightseeing family vacations when he was young....and thats all my family did. But he loved it. We have already decided that it will be a place we come back to once we have kids.

Speaking of kids...I'm on the 2 week waiting period...BLECH! I hate this. I don't have my hopes up even though it was a nightly thing for like a week. We'll see...

Our anniversary was last night. It wasn't spectacular. We had DQ and wine in our hotel room here in El Paso. Laid down for ten minutes before we...you know...and crashed....woke up late this morning!

I miss Sadie and my king size bed and my couch and comfy computer chair. We leave Thursday afternoon. Can't wait to get home! I have my job interview for my Kindergarten position on Monday at 11! I am excited! I hope it all turns out like I want it to!

I think next week...I may be making a couple day trips...one south and one west....I miss some girls, like crazy!!!

So...I'm sick of spring weather....I was sick of it after the 1st time we headed to the basement...we've done it several more times since then. Sick of the rain, the muddy paw prints, muddy shoes...sick of it!

We leave early tomorrow am to go to Chi-town! I'm pumped. We'll be broke, but I need to get outta here! WOOHOOO! Shopping and friends and anniversary and Nick seeing some stuff he's never seen that I know he'll enjoy.

So I stopped over at Grandma's to say good-bye. She's having a garage sale. Now I'm all about good garage sale finds! I spent $50 at a garage sale last weekend on teacher stuff that would have cost me probably $500 brand new. I love those sales...but the ones where the things have been on the garage sale for the past 10 years...where the price is ridiculously high...not so much...they drive me nuts! Send it to Goodwill or Salvation Army. A candle that's half-burned will not make you any money. It's not worth a penny let alone $1.50. Anyway, my grandma, bless her soul cannot let things go...always trying to sell the stuff...DRIVES ME NUTS!

Well hopefully next week I've got some good job news to post...see you later gaters!

A Good Cry

Have you ever felt like you just need to cry...if you're a girl, I know you have. I'm in one of those moods. I really can't release it though...my dear sweet hubbie will think that its his fault. And though he did slightly tick me off. It's not him. It's just me. I just need to cry. Thinking about crying makes me tear up. I won't cry though. If I do, he'll try and fix it. THere's nothing to fix. I just want to cry. I'll wait until he's not around. It could be a while though. When I used to be single...I'd lock myself in my room. Turn on one of my sad, sad movies...and just cry. Tonight though...I'll sulk and want to cry, but can't. He'll think I'm mad at him, but I'm not. It's just too complicated to explain to him.

Summer Fever

Oh, how I wish I was eloquent with words....in my head, yes....but no where else. I'm in Iowa this weekend for graduations again. We came up yesterday afternoon and spent the night. We'll leave this evening. I brought my gma with me so we'll do the nursing home/ hospital run in a little while and then my parents will be here this afternoon. Then we have a party this afternoon and we'll head home.

THere are 5 more days left of school! (With Kids..) I can't wait. I'm so tired. I need a break! I'm glad I still have a summer and can semi-enjoy it!


It's baby central around here. And of course, hopes of all the cousins were dashed as I had a wine cooler with my dinner last night. "We were hoping" "When do you think" "We can't wait" "You'd be such a good mom"
And even more comments galore...

I can't wait until the day we can show up and say "We did it!" "We're pregnant!" But we maybe 82-years-old before we can say that, right Laura?!

Nick and I are going to Chicago in two weeks and I can't wait! We need this for everything!

I know, I know...its been a month again. I don't have a lot of time, but I promised someone I'd post. Although her posts are much better than mine. ARGH...so another friend is happy in preggoville....I swear. Everywhere I look they're pregnant. I'm not sure how I feel anymore about this whole thing. I mean this month...I know I'm not. Yet I know the anticipation of waiting for the Red Sea is going to kill me...this sucks donkey butt!

I'm going to KC for a graduation. I'll update a life update next week. In one word though it's BUSY!

It's been a while

Wow! It's been a month! Lots has happened...Of course the most exciting and also frustrating thing has been our new baby! We got a Golden Retriever puppy. We named her Sadie. She's been with us two weeks. Eventually we should be able to sleep through the night!

I'm applying for different teaching jobs within the district. I'm trying to get into Kindergarten or First. It is a struggle, but I'm being patient and know that if not this year, maybe next year. I do have a job with preschool still, but I will move to a different school and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

We had a busy weekend. We worked a lot outside, cleaned the cars, the garage, put together our patio swing. We hung plastic in the basement to get it ready to drywall and to prevent Sadie from getting insulation.

This week I have several meetings/classes. It will be another long week. Nick is got an awful cold so he is a little crabby with that. He's trying not to get me sick, says that he doesn't want me to feel like he does...so no kissing....but I miss him.

I really hope it doesn't rain all week, but the clouds have rolled in here, so I have a feeling that is what we are in for. YUCK! I hate mud, so does Sadie!

I'm a wreck right now. It scares the crap out of me to find out if its gonna happen.....or not. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to think about it, but all I do is think about it. The ONLY time I forget about it is M-F 9-1. I'm involved with preschool and going, going, going. Life would change dramatically, which I'm not sure I'm really ready for, but I know I really am ready for the adventure. I hate the fact that the signs are there, but they could be for something else entirely. That is like a cruel oxymoron. Uggh, maybe soon, I'll know.

Life with you makes perfect sense...

he's my best friend! I've really been focused this past month on how special my relationship with Nick is. He was hand picked for me. We may have a tiff here and there, but in reality there is no one that I would rather be with. He serves me in more ways than I could have ever imagine. We compliment each other so well, tonight was a perfect example. 3 weeks of laundry, because I hate to put it way was piled up on the guest bedroom, plus another 3 loadds from yesterday. I folded it all and he put it all away! Little things like that are what make me treasure him even more. Love you Nick!

Oh What A Weekend

What a crazy and fun weekend! Friday night I went to Omaha and saw some really good friends. Girls that I needed time with, that I hadn't gotten since maybe my wedding! We laughed, we cried, had serious moments, seriously funny moments and just a good time! It was so needed. I almost didn't go, and until I got home on Saturday morning, I didn't realize how much I needed to go. Saturday, Nick and I ran errands. Saturday evening we went to a Bull and Shrimp Feed in Liberty. I had ham! Sunday was a sleep-in morning. Sunday afternoon I went to a bridal fair and then we worked in the garage. I now know the difference between a socket, a drive and a lots of other different tools! Then we went into my parents, saw my nephew Tristan. He looks so good! You would never know that he was a preemie! He is almost standing and he's got squishy puffy cheeks. He is so strong! We had dinner with my family and cherry pie and ice cream for dessert! Then we came home and watched TV and relaxed! This week will be crazy! Nick has a semi of seed coming tomorrow, plus he has to go out to Illinois. He'll be gone until late Wed night/early Thurs. morning. I always miss him when he is gone, but maybe I'll get some things done around the house. Saturday starts 3 weeks in a row for craft shows! Ooh! I can hardly wait!

February

This month has been busy. We had our first dinner party! One of my dear friends is expecting! We went to Kentucky and went to the national farm show and tractor pull. This weekend we have a going away party, a bridal shower and a wedding fair. (So the last two are mine.) We're itching to get outside and get some things done out there. If only the cold weather would go away. I'm ready for chirping birds, green grass, flowers blooming and strawberries! Come Spring, Come!

January

It's hard to believe that its 2008 already. I read somewhere you shouldn't make resolutions, instead you should make a list of things you weren't going to do in the coming year. I've got none of either...

In news, I survived hosting my first Christmas. It went swell. I can definitely wait 300+ days to do it again, thats for sure.

Back to work, trying to come up with creative and fun lesson plans.

My kiddos are coming to my house for an overnight. How fun! I'm actually pretty excited about it, I hope I don't pull my hair out.

Baby fever is escalating. We'll see where that gets us this year....